THE RATASS GAZETTE

"I tell ya, I got the only car, dogs chase it and catch it." - Here's some dynamite stand-up from the one and only Rodney Dangerfield. I'm not sure of the exact year, but I'd guess 1970's. Tons of great eye-bugging and "I tell ya's" and "my wife" rants, I love it! Three minutes of killer material. Enjoy!

Cinderella - Shake Me - 1986 - Here's an excellent song and video from Cinderella. "Shake Me" was the first single off their multi-platinum selling debut album, Night Songs , and it's probably my favorite Cinderella song. Shake it! RANDOM THOUGHTS ... This song has it all: Great guitar riffs, awesome cowbell, and kick-ass vocals. A " foot-stomping rocker " if you will. Cinderella is one of my favorite bands from that era, I saw them live (with Poison, Dokken, and Slaughter on the Power To The People Tour in 2000) and they put on a great  show, doing all of the cool guitar tricks they display here in this video. And of course, Tom Keifer is a great singer, one of my favorite rock and roll voices. It captures the energy, so showing them playing the song live in the video works pretty good here, I think. ... Bands, and people in general, don't talk about "shaking" like they used to. Back in the day, there were songs about "shaking...

Finally, here is Part 3 (of 3) of our Dazzling Dunks extravaganza, featuring Clyde "The Glide" Drexler!  Clyde "The Glide" Drexler - We're gonna wrap things up with some silky smooth moves from Clyde "The Glide." There was a perception back in the day (at least with the people I knew) that Clyde didn't dunk with power, since he didn't do a lot of rim-hangin', like Kemp or 'Nique. This video will change that perception. He dunks with plenty of power. I'm not pulling your chain when I say that some of these dunks are straight outta sight. These dunks are smooth, man. Most of these dunks are from his days with the Blazers, but there is one in there from his Houston days, and I'm not talking Phi Slamma Jamma! Check it out! Random Thoughts on the Drexler video... They get it rolling right out of the gate here at #10, a one-hand alley-oop slam, one of the best I've seen! He calls for the oop on the break and fini...

Here is Part 2 (of 3) of our Dazzling Dunks extravaganza, starring Dominique Wilkins. Dominique Wilkins - Ah yes, the "Human Highlight Reel!" I am on record as saying Dominique Wilkins is my #1 favorite dunker of all time. That's quite a statement, because I love dunks and there's a lot of great dunkers. But I dig Dominique's style, with the windmill slams, the double-pump reverse jams, and things of that ilk. I like a lot of limb movement in a dunker. Limb flailing, even. Dominique also dunked with power and hung on the rim a lot, which I also dig. So that's one dig, and then another dig. What's that give me? Um... I don't know, actually. A small hole, I guess? Look, they're awesome dunks, so just watch the video...  Random Thoughts on the Dominique video...  Pretty much everything I like about Dominique as a dunker is in this video. We've got the "reverse stuff" at #8 (I just really like it when people call a dunk a "s...

Welcome to Part 1 (of 3) of our Dazzling Dunks extravaganza! This one focuses on Shawn Kemp. If you haven't had your daily dose of dunks yet, go ahead and have a few. Even if you think you've had your fill, just have a couple more. Go on. You know you want to...   Shawn Kemp - The "Rain Man" is one of my favorite dunkers of all time. I actually saw Shawn Kemp play against the Bucks at the Bradley Center back in the day. I don't remember what exactly what year, but it was during the Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson era in Milwaukee. Kemp was an established dunker at the time, though, and when he stole a pass at half-court during the game, the crowd was expecting something phenomenal. He had a fast-break with no defenders in front of him, and everyone was suddenly on their feet. He did a fairly simple two-hand reverse jam, and the crowd was actually a little disappointed, but my point is this: Those few seconds of anticipation as he dribbled to the hoop were ...

"Must be a banker." - Hilarious scenes from an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer and Newman make up a lie in an attempt to get Newman out of a speeding ticket. (Season 4, Ep 4, "The Ticket").  Whenever you get those two together it's pure comedy gold.  I really like the bit where they're brain-storming ideas before their appearance in the court room.  Kramer suggests he was suicidal because he never had an air-conditioner. Great stuff! 

Green Day - Christie Road - Live in 2005 - This song originally appeared on Kerplunk in 1992.  Kerplunk was drummer Tre Cool's first recorded music with Green Day, and is arguably a top-3 Green Day album.  Here's a great performance of "Christie Road" live on Fuse Comp'd in 2005 .  Rock! RANDOM THOUGHTS ... This song contains a full metric shit ton of great Tre Cool drum fills.  I actually met Tre Cool after a show at The Rave one time, it was legendary.  My brother and some friends were talking to this shorter guy wearing a leather jacket.  I went over to join them and "shorter guy wearing a leather jacket" is none other than -- yep, you guessed it -- Tre Cool.  His hand was all bandaged up, he said it was from smashing his drum kit at the end of the show, and that's the most rock and roll thing that has ever been said to me.  He actually commented directly to me about the T-shirt I was wearing, which had a print of an original Green Da...

"I'm the champ!" - Check out this unbelievably awesome Ric Flair promo from 1988.  It's Flair at his gloriously confident best.  I'm not sure he could say all this stuff in today's overly PC culture, but back then you could say pretty much whatever you wanted.  Plus, he name-drops everyone from Dale Murphy to Lex Luger to Ted Turner and everyone in between.  I can't watch it enough and I laugh hysterically every time I see it.  Enjoy!  The Ric Flair Flop - And, of course, we can't discuss Ric Flair without talking about the Ric Flair Flop!  It's a highlight of almost every classic match he's been a part of, and here's a great video compilation of a bunch of them.  This video is probably about two minutes too long, but you get the gist of it.  It's like they teach you in elementary school, "It's better to have too many Ric Flair Flops than not enough."  Words to live by, kids!

Scandal - Goodbye To You - 1982 - I almost called this one a guilty pleasure, but the truth is I don't feel guilty at all about liking it.  In fact, this is one of my all-time favorite 80's songs!  The beauty of this video is in it's simplicity: Five people, one room, and an unbelievably catchy song.  You can't mess that up! Check it out! Scandal - Goodbye to You RANDOM THOUGHTS... If you're not tapping your foot or singing along by the end of this song you're dead inside, and possibly dead outside .  Tip: To find out if you're dead outside , call 911.  When the paramedics kick down your front door in a panic and try to slap an oxygen mask on you, simply ask one of them, "Am I dead outside?"  If you can feel the unbearable pain emanating from your swollen cheekbones after they punch you in the face and leave, I'm happy to say you're still alive outside.  However, you still may be dead inside .  An easy way to test if you're ...

Well, Super Bowl Sunday is finally here , and it seems like everyone is rooting against Tom Brady.  Why? Good question.  Brady seems to be a humble guy who is beloved by his teammates.  But from the people I've talked to, people really seem to dislike the fact that he's good-looking, dates good-looking women, and his team wins every year (even though that also sounds a lot like Joe Montana, and people seem to love him ).  Well, I'm here to defend Tom Brady because I like watching greatness and because I know he'd do the same for me. I mean, really.  Would you rather see Eli Manning and the Giants win?  Seriously?  Well, if you're still not convinced after I threw a "really" and a "seriously" at you, here are some reasons why you should be rooting for Tom Brady to win Super Bowl XLVI... Underdoggedness... Tom Brady was an unheralded 6th-round draft pick in 2000, only got a chance to play because Drew Bledsoe was injured, plays every seas...

He's old, he's jaded, he's a baseball scout.  He thinks today's players aren't shit compared to Home Run Baker and Three-Finger Brown.  He spews out so many old baseball names you're not sure if they're real or made up.  He mentions obscure nicknames as if they're common knowledge.  And more often than not, he'll start spinning a yarn about some guy he (supposedly) once saw rather than answer your original question.     Since the 2011 season ended, baseball's Hot Stove has been steaming.  The Texas Rangers signed Japanese pitching sensation Yu Darvish , National League MVP Ryan Braun reportedly tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs, and sluggers Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder changed teams. So what does our Jaded Old Baseball Scout think about all this?  Let's find out... " Me and Smitty once scouted a kid named Winky "The Mongoose" Munson that could throw 11 pitches. He's what you call Am...