THE RATASS GAZETTE

Rank These Curtis Armstrong Movies: __ Risky Business __ Revenge of the Nerds __ Better Off Dead __ One Crazy Summer __ Revenge of the Nerds II Known Brandon Schlong Aliases:   - Harold Schlafli - Harold Richard Baker - Bob Donovan - Luigi Ponderosa - Rudy Bagelman - Maurice Lester - Tarkin Kott - Bird Billson - Ricky French What Is Your Favorite Brandon Schlong Dance Move?   1) The Super-Slow Running Man 2) The Checkerboard (AKA The Jiggler) 3) The Uncle Jim 4) The Burger Dance Do You Agree That Trick Questions Are For Shit?   A) Emerald B) Sapphire  C) Ruby  D) Garnet  Do This Right Now:   Count to ten as fast as you can,  using your best  James Hetfield voice  on the number ten.  Failed RATASS Gazette Business Ventures:   + Morning Dump Energy-Lax + 45 Degree Angle Shelves + 1-Sided Dice  Answer Key: * In order to get a Mantra you must speak Sanskrit. 

Brandon Schlong Prefers: A) SpaghettiOs Original B) SpaghettiOs w/Meatballs C) SpaghettiOs w/Franks D) Beenie Weenies Rank These Advertising Gurus: __ Ron Popeil __ Tony Little __ Billy Mays __ Richard Simmons How Do You Feel About This List? 1) Burgers 2) Bush 3) Moisture 4) Cyclops 5) Neptune 6) Nickel 7) Beaver 8) Shittin' 9) Leftover Meatloaf Who Says "Whoa!" The Best? A) Keanu Reeves (Bill & Ted) B) Joey Lawrence (Blossom) C) Mike Meyers (Wayne's World) Think About This: The night he thought the camera was rolling but it wasn't, and he just rocked out super-hardcore. It was desperate...just awful... What Do These Words Have To Do With Anything? 1) The Roller Den 2) Mr. Belvedere 3) Proctor/Police Acadamy 4) Slap Bracelets 5) Jack Tripper 6) Bodacious 7) Zack Morris 8) Dirty Hayride w/Naked Gravitron True Or False: Brandon Schlong invented the "Potato Chips as Chopsticks" concept.