THE RATASS GAZETTE

It was a cool, breezy, Summer day in June of 1994. The temperature was a pleasant 82 degrees. This day presented the perfect conditions for baitin' up a hook with a plump and juicy earth-worm...or a night-crawler or some green worms or any other number of dirt-dwelling invertebrates and casting a line into the muddy depths of the Bessie Tonka River. Hell, maybe if your Pop had been working extra shifts at the Carlyle Industries you just might have found yourself with a container full of stink-bait. And if he finally got that raise he'd been prayin' for at the church, you might have even woke up with some chicken liver next to your pillow accompanied by a nearly illegible note informing you: "I gotta work 19 hours t'dee so you go on an' get some fishin' in. Don't fergitt!" A boy of twelve emerged onto Main Street from Larson's General Store with a Mountain Dew Big Slam in his right hand. His name was Murray Tinklewater. This is the life, tho

Tom Cochrane - Life is a Highway - Live on Leno 1992  RANDOM THOUGHTS ... I've always liked this song, and this is a rockin' performance of it on Leno. Way better than his appearance on Letterman , where they played a shortened version of the tune (without some of the harmonica parts and such) and things just seemed off. Here, however, things are tight and they sound fantastic. Mr. Cochrane plays the heck out of that harmonica, too. This is pretty much as good as it gets on a late-night show, he nails it. Awesome performance. ... I really like that Cochrane jogged up and sat down for a little chat after he rocked the house. It's the late-night equivalent of athletes giving interviews immediately after a game, when they're all sweaty and out of breath. Anyway, after some decent banter about Canada ("I spent a lot of time up there during, uh, Vietnam years"), Leno asks him a great question: How did you come up with the idea for this song? It's a ques

Nirvana - Come As You Are - 1992 RANDOM THOUGHTS ... For me, this song is a time machine. Every time I hear the opening guitar riff, I'm instantly transported to 1992. I'm back in school talking to my friends about this new tape called  Nevermind that we all bought, and how much we all liked it. I'm back in my parents' living room watching this video on MTV with my brothers and saying "Nirvarna Rules" in a Butt-head voice. I'm back in the passenger seat of my mom's car, making her listen to this new tape I just bought, trying to explain to her why I liked it so much (and probably not really succeeding all that much at the time). Sometimes the time warp feels so real it gives me the chills... and I love it. Excellent times. Excellent song.

#5: Hacksaw Jim Duggan's Clothesline RANDOM THOUGHTS ... I know what you're thinking: This move is WAY too weak to be top five. It's just a simple clothesline, for Chrissakes! And you're right, it is just a simple clothesline... But that's exactly what makes it so awesome. Other wrestlers give clotheslines routinely, but do they ever knock a guy down for the three-count? Rarely! When Duggan does it they need to a call a stretcher for the other guy. Plus, Duggan's clotheslines are powered by the people and fueled by the flag. How dare you call this move weak? U-S-A! U-S-A!