THE RATASS GAZETTE

"Not gonna play ball, huh?" - Classic scene where Newman plays bad cop trying to nab Jerry in a mail fraud scheme.  It cracks me up the way Jerry plays it cool, and the whole bit where Newman sweats under the lights is pure gold.  Enjoy!   "Oh, how I've longed for this day, Seinfeld." - Here is the end of that episode (Season 8, Ep 5, "The Package") where Jerry is eventually caught and punished for mail fraud, and Newman savors every moment of it.  Good stuff. 

Just looking back here at the 2004 NBA Slam Dunk contest.  Unfortunately, there were only four (4) participants that year (surely, there are more than four worthy dunkers in the league, and surely the fans wouldn't mind watching more crazy-good dunks), but rest assured, there was still plenty of of awesome jams.  Here is a great video mix of all the dunks from that contest... RANDOM THOUGHTS - The 4 dunkers are (in order)... Ricky Davis , Chris Andersen , Fred Jones , and Jason Richardson .  In the first round they cycle through twice, each guy dunking once each time, so there were 8 total dunks in the first round.  Here's what I think... Best Dunk of the First Round - Jason Richardson's off-the-glass between-the-legs jam (1:07), which was the 8th and final dunk of the round.  This dunk was probably good enough to use in the Final round and get a 50, but I think he was smart to use it here in Round 1 because if he saves it and doesn't advance to the next round

We've got a double-dose of Green Day goodness today, featuring two fantastic song performances from their Chicago, 1994, concert at the Aragon Ballroom, which aired on MTV.  The music sounds great and the band appears to be on drugs, so it all adds up to a great live show! F.O.D. - First is a hyped-up version of F.O.D. ( Dookie , Track 14).  I've always liked this tune.  Though hateful, the lyrics rock.  "You're just a fuck, I can't explain it 'cause I think you suck."  It's unfortunate that they cut out the obscenities in this version, but that's my only complaint.  This is a top-notch performance, check it out! Paper Lanterns - The Chicago '94 concert includes a superb version of Paper Lanterns ( 1,039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours , Track 11), my all-time favorite Green Day song.  It's a great rock riff and Billie Joe even busts out a guitar solo (1:31) here in this one, which goes completely off the rails at the 2:00 mark.  That'

An amazing performance of their smash hit "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour on The Arsenio Hall Show in 1989.  To say Arsenio was a little excited after they rocked the house would be an understatement.  Check it out! Living Colour - Cult Of Personality - Live on Arsenio Hall RANDOM THOUGHTS - All four band members played great in this appearance.  The lead singer is full of energy, the back-up vocals are spot on, and time signature changes are handled with ease.  The musicianship is top-notch, tight, tremendous.  But we can't go too long without mentioning guitarist Vernon Reid.  He put on a shred clinic and we're all lucky enough to be witnesses.  One of the most respected guitarists in the business, Reid showcased his incredible sonic talents here for a national TV audience.  He does not disappoint!  0:09 - The signature guitar riff.  One of the best guitar riffs of all time, I'd say.  It's syncopated and kind of herky-jerky , but Reid ma

Obviously, Grantland doesn't need The RATASS Gazette to promote it's fine writers and content, but I like to pass along the links in case anybody missed them.  Grantland churns out quality stuff all the time.  Here are a handful of my personal favorites that I've read on the site in the past few weeks.  Enjoy!  KLOSTERMAN'S BEST - Simply put, this is the best article I've read in a while.  Chuck Klosterman, who always has a funny and interesting take, examines the idea of nostalgia and what it means to people.  I'd recommend it to any one.  More recently, he's posted his Top 50 college basketball players of all time , which made me chuckle and guffaw on multiple occasions while reading it.  And I tell everyone I know to read this piece on Edgar Winter's Frankenstein , it's fantastic.  Klosterman rocks. SIMMONS LETS LOOSE - The NBA lockout still has not been resolved (as of this posting), and if you want to know what the players and owners are

"You gotta love a sport where you can eat while you play it." - Here is some really funny Jim Gaffigan material, he's one of my favorite comedians.  First up is a bit on bowling.  Like Gaffigan, I love bowling, but let's face it... it's a lazy man's game and people who take it too seriously are nuts.  Check it out! "If it's so great outside, why are all the bugs trying to get in my house?" - Here's Gaffigan riffing on camping.  "You know who's a happy camper?  The guy leaving the campsite."  Some real gold in here, enjoy!

"They're slim fit.  Streamlined." - Here are some scenes from a classic Seinfeld episode (Season 7, Ep 23, "The Wait Out") where Kramer decides to prove to Jerry that he can still fit into a pair of blue jeans.  Lots of great physical comedy in this one.  I love Jerry's facial expressions when Kramer insists he'll buy a pair of jeans.  "Don't think I won't, Jerry!"  Haha, enjoy! 

PETERSON'S NEW FACE MASK - Has anyone else noticed that Adrian Peterson has a different face mask these days?  Ever since his college days at Oklahoma, Peterson has always worn the style of face mask seen here... He has worn that style his entire 5-year NFL career, including as recently as Week 4 of the 2011 season against the Chiefs... But when the Vikings played the Cardinals in Week 5, All Day was sporting a new look... He's now wearing a mask popular with wide receivers and quarterbacks, positions where most guys prefer maximum vision. On defense and the offensive line, most guys want full cages because more bars in your face mask means more protection.  Most running backs seem to prefer a fuller cage, too, often preferring the very face mask that Peterson is switching away from.  (The "Deion Sanders-style" face mask also seems to be popular among RB's.) So why is he changing?  Face mask changes are pretty rare.  Ben Roethlisberger and Pey

Close call on whether to call this a Great 80's Video or an Awesome 90's Video since the album "Epic" appeared on, The Real Thing , was released in 1989, but the single didn't come out until 1990.  I went with the 90's because that's when the song was huge (and 1990 included their, um, epic MTV VMA's performance ).  Plus, it just feels more like a 90's video, I think.  The song itself obviously kicks ass, the lightning bolts coming from the guitar are gnarly, and the lead singer is insane.  Check it out! Faith No More - Epic RANDOM THOUGHTS... Solid guitar solo in this song.  Very solid.  Played by guitarist Jim Martin on a Gibson Flying V.  Very memorable and also very hummable.  It really takes the tune to, like, a different level, man.  ...  The real story here is the keyboardist.  He's the best!  He only actually plays the keyboard once or twice but the rest of the time he's posing dramatically, which is awesome.  Of part

"I have a very low tolerance level for stupid bullshit." -  Looking for laughs?  Look no further!  Here's some timeless comedy from the mind of George Carlin.  I think most people can relate to these jokes.  Whether it's talking to some stupidiot on the phone or trying to get out of an annoying conversation at work, Carlin hits the nail on the head... "People are fucking boring!"