THE RATASS GAZETTE

Green Day "East Jesus Nowhere" - Live At Abbey Road (2009).   It's been a while since we posted a Green Day video, so here is a great live performance of the band in 2009. "East Jesus Nowhere" is one of the strongest tracks off 21st Century Breakdown , and their musicianship is (of course) excellent in this clip. Check it out!

MCNABB TO THE VIKINGS - As a long-time Vikings fan, I am excited the team traded for Donovan McNabb.  It means my favorite team will actually be watchable this year!  In a division full of quality QB's (Aaron Rodgers, Jay Cutler, Matt Stafford), I feared a big step backwards, but it looks like they should be playoff-caliber once again.  I'm not going to lie, I was not looking forward to a season with Christian Ponder as the QB. Who really wants to sit through 16 games of rookie mistakes and bumbling offensive football?  McNabb should take command right away, the veterans should be motivated, and the 2011 season, at the very least, has hope.  I am very much looking forward to the Donovan McNabb Era in Minnesota! Just take a look at that photo of McNabb.  Look at that smile!  How can you not want to play for that guy?!  And THAT is the part of the trade that I like the best:  McNabb is a leader and hopefully the O-Line and the rest of the offense will rally behind him. 

I know, I know... smoking may not be seen as "cool" or "healthy" these days, but Chandler sure made it funny on Friends !  Here are some classic clips featuring Chandler's hilarious habit: "Just think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand." - The first clip here is from the first season, "The One With The Thumb", a scene in which Chandler is trying to teach Joey how to smoke to prepare for a role.  Comedy gold! Chandler smokes at work. - Here is a scene from the same episode where Chandler sneaks a smoke on company time.  Sorry, no embed here, but trust me, it's worth clicking the link! Watch the video - http://youtu.be/697hXU_RIkI Chandler smokes with Rachel's co-workers. - Here's a great scene where Chandler goes to Rachel's office and makes quite an impression on her colleagues. Cracks me up every time!

As I've mentioned before , I love Grantland !  The Bill Simmons-led website continues to churn out quality content.  If you haven't visited the site lately, here is a good place to start browsing what they have to offer: It's a week-in-review post that highlights some of the best pieces they've run in the last seven days.  Along with those articles that are featured, I've listed some more of my personal favorites that you might also enjoy... CATCHING UP WITH THE WWE:   I used to be a huge WWF fan (DX, in particular) and it seems Vince McMahon and his company are making a comeback.  Grantland has a writer on the staff named David Shoemaker, a.k.a. The Masked Man, who does a nice job of explaining what they've been up to lately with the CM Punk angle .  Great stuff! Also, Bill Simmons just came out with a gloriously entertaining piece on his top WWE ring entrances and theme music of all time.  It's a must-read for any wrestling fan, past or present! 

Feel free to use this bit at your next social gathering if someone mentions... Cheerleaders. “What’s up with cheerleaders, and why are they always telling their team to ' Go '? Even when they’re on Defense. ' Go Defense! ' Where the hell do they want the Defense to go?  They don’t even have the ball!  What if they ' Go ' backwards?  They really should be more specific!" ( Pause for laughter ) "If anything, it should be ' Stop The Offense! '   Mock cheerleader voice:   " Halt! Stifle! Impede!   I-M-P!  E-D-E!  Immmm-PEDE! " ( Pause for crazy applause.  If there is still no applause, add in a high-leg kick for emphasis. You know, explore the space.   If you still hear crickets, feigning a pulled muscle on the leg-kick can sometimes get you some cheap laughs. Take anything you can get, because at this point, aside from some eye-bugging and forehead-wiping... the bit is pretty much over. ) "You know what I’m saying?”

The B-52’s – "Private Idaho" RANDOM THOUGHTS ... I heard this song on the radio one day and it really took me to another world.  Am I living in my own Private Idaho, I wondered?  Or am I just lost in this surf guitar riff that I can't get out of my head?  How would I really know the difference?  Hmmm.  What I do know is that this video is pretty odd, but the song is great. But trust me, you won't be able to get the guitar out of your head. Ever...

This comedy bit is from Norm Macdonald's HBO One-Night Stand performance, which originally aired in 1991. He riffs for a good three minutes on how much he hates sitting in the back seat on a long car ride, and I laughed nonstop!  I just thought the material was gold and had to post it! All credit goes to Norm Macdonald here. " It’s good to be here, man. I got a lift down here.  We drove down, me and my two buddies, there, and 4 hours it took us to drive in.  And I was in the back seat all the way.   You ever be in the back seat for a long trip?  Oh man, does that stink or what? Man, what a rough place that is!  When there’s only 3 of ya in the car, and you’re in the back seat… you know you’re not the most popular guy in the car.  Got no diggity back there at all, ya know?  Didn’t even have a door for me.  This is one of those 2 door cars.  Only had doors for the front seat guys.  I didn’t even have a door at all, I had to bum a door off one of the guys to get out of the

I love Scrubs for its randomness and not so much for it's heartwarming and dramatic moments. So that's why I get a kick out of this little nugget.

My favorite football clip of all time, Greg Jones going beast mode on Dexter Reid in 2003! I watch this hit over and over and over again, I can't get enough! 0:04 - Greg sizes him up. He's not looking down the field anymore, all he wants to do is knock the dude on his ass. 0:06 - Everybody on the field, everyone in the crowd and both of the guys in the booth know that somebody just got destroyed! You have to wonder how far D. Reid would have flown if he hadn't hit the back of another player. Plus, you gotta love the commentator just laughing after it happens! Oh my word!

A look back at Green Day's Insomniac .  The 1995 follow-up to the hugely successful Dookie did not reach the same levels of sales or accolades as it's predecessor, but there are some really strong songs on this underrated album. Here are my five favorites... 1. “Geek Stink Breath” – The first post- Dookie single has been my fave since the first time I heard it.  It’s a shame the video for this song got pulled from daytime rotation (too gory showing a dentist yanking a tooth), thus costing it a chance at being on TRL .  And as anyone knows, in 1995, if you weren’t on TRL , you may as well not exist.  But the song itself kicks ass: a great opening-line of lyrics, catchy chorus, and Tre Cool’s nice decision to use the open high-hat on the drums, rather than a closed high-hat, because he’s a musical genius.  My point is, this song should have been much bigger than it was! 2. “Babs’ Uvula Who?” – I dare you to name a better 2-minute punk rock song tha

"The bus is OUTTA CONTROL !" - This classic Seinfeld scene is about as good as it gets, in my opinion: Kramer telling the story of how he saved a woman's pinky toe. It's from Season 5, Episode 18 - "The Fire". There are so many funny lines in here, I'll just let the video speak for itself!

I heard this one today on the radio and cranked it! The man of summer, Henry Lee Summer, takes us back to the mid-eighties with this excellent cruisin' song that's fun to sing along with, "I Wish I Had A Girl".  RANDOM THOUGHTS:   I really like the song itself, Henry really gets into it starting at about the 2:54 mark. This song is also a candidate for my Top 5 Mid-Song Screams By a Lead Singer list! ... As for the video, it's got it all: Mullet, check. Denim jacket, check. Babes, check. ...  I'd call his antics with the ladies 'borderline harassment' except there's nothing borderline about it! It's a good thing the girls just laugh. Well some laughed, and some got violent. Hey, can't blame the guy for trying, right?!  ... My favorite "move" that he tries is at the 1:40 mark: The "Corner Her In A Stairwell And Refuse To Let Her Leave" move. I can't believe it didn't work! ... I think he's on to someth

THE Tom Chambers Dunk... Of course you know which Tom Chambers dunk I'm talking about. I'm referring to his head-above-the-rim jumpin-from-the-dotted-line two-hand slam-o-rama over Mark Jackson. It's worth watching about once a day, in my opinion. That's how awesome it is. FUN FACTS: Tom Chambers ("Tommy C") averaged 27.2 points per game in 1989-90 with Phoenix, which ranked 4th in the league. ...  He scored 34 points in the 1987 NBA All-Star Game in Seattle when he was a member of the hometown Sonics and was named the All-Star Game MVP. ...  He competed in the 1987 Slam Dunk contest. He did not advance to the second round. ... His 20,049 career points currently ranks #37 in NBA history.

Here’s a quick look at Green Day’s discography and how many they’ve sold (according to RIAA certifications. Platinum = 1 million copies sold. Gold = 500,000 copies sold.)…  1,039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours (1991)  Kerplunk (1992) – 1x Platinum Dookie (1994) – 10x Platinum – a.k.a. Diamond.  Insomniac (1995) – 2x Platinum  Nimrod (1997)– 2x Platinum Warning (2000) – Gold International Superhits (2001) – 1x Platinum Shenanigans (2002) American Idiot (2004) – 5x Platinum 21 st Century Breakdown (2009) – 1x Platinum UPDATE: 21st Century Breakdown was certified Platinum on February 17, 2011, giving Green Day SEVEN Platinum albums ! Four of those seven have gone Multi-Platinum. They just keep on rockin! GREEN DAY VIDEO DU JOUR... "Going to Pasalacqua" - Live in Chicago .  - This originally aired on MTV in December of 1994, just as they were exploding onto the national scene. This is

There was a time not long ago when Matthew Perry, as Chandler Bing , was the funniest man on TV. Here's a couple classic Friends clips from Season 3 to make you laugh! The Drill - I'm a big fan of the episodes when Joey and Chandler were roommates. There were hijinks a plenty. Here's one my brother and I laugh at all the time, and it's funny every time I see it: The electric drill scene!  "Wow, that ripped!" - Chandler rips his shirt on the new entertainment center Joey built. As Joey would say: "Just turn and slide !" SUGGESTIONS WELCOME! If you have any Classic Sitcom Moments you want to see featured, let us know and we'll try to get them in here. My personal favorite sitcoms include Seinfeld , Friends , King of Queens , Home Improvement , Married... With Children , That 70's Show , ... and plenty of others that I'm sure I'm forgetting. Laughter is the best medicine, so we'll try to post plenty of clips!

2011 NBA Draft Recap: Three Longhorns Drafted in Round 1, Baffling 2nd-Round Picks, ESPN's Bumbling Coverage, etc... TEXAS ADDS 3 MORE 1ST-ROUNDERS... The Texas Longhorns added 3 more 1st-Rounders to this already impressive list of talent when Tristan Thompson , Jordan Hamilton , and Cory Joseph were all drafted early. That brings the tally up to an incredible nine 1st-Round draft picks in the past nine years! Thompson will see a lot of PT as the Cavs rebuild and he should be productive. Hamilton ended up in Denver and will battle for shots in an already stacked roster. Joseph found a good home with the Spurs. NBA TEAMS THROW AWAY MORE 2ND-ROUND PICKS... I just don't get the strategy behind NBA teams and their 2nd-round picks. How do productive college players such as Matt Howard , Demetrius McCamey , and Matthew Bryan-Amaning go undrafted while international players such as Milan Macvan , Chukwudiebere Maduabum , and Ater Majok get selected? Of course, this h

The next time you're cruisin' through town with your windows rolled down, crank up the volume with one of these awesome guitar solos!     1) Quiet Riot - “Cum on Feel the Noize” – A solo that people recognize when you drive by. And, whenever I have a chance to put this song on a Top 5 list, I DO IT! (Also featured on Top 5 lists such as Best Drum Intro , Best Mid-Song Scream by a Lead Singer , Songs I’d Like as My Plate Approach Theme If I Were a Baseball Player , and Favorite Songs That Passively-Aggressively Urge People to ‘Feel the Noize’ .) 2) Dio – “Rainbow in the Dark” – People don’t know what the hell is happening when they hear this cranked up to 11 on the street! Lots of speed-picking and other good heavy metal shit going on, it sounds like Satan in a speaker!  I had a frail old woman look on with fear as I drove by one time. Just give her the Devil Horns and tell ol’ blue-hair to drop dead, I say!  3) Metallica – “Enter Sandman” – I find this one to

Peter Wolf - Come As You Are Former J. Geils Band lead singer Peter Wolf hops around on two feet for the entire video until he gets to the stage at the end. I like the song and it’s such a cool, quirky idea for a video. Just good, clean fun!

My humble advice to ESPN on how to improve their Draft coverage on TV: Have Ryen Russillo host the show and get rid of Stuart Scott. Russillo is fantastic on the Scott Van Pelt Show and the NBA Today podcast. Stu Scott reminds me of Chris Berman, which means I think he's very, very annoying. Keep Jay Bilas as an analyst, but also add Chad Ford and Jimmy Dykes to the desk. Ford ranks prospects all year, and Dykes (a former NBA scout and current college b-ball analyst) should be featured more often, he's very good. At a side stage, have Ric Bucher and Steven A. Smith sit face-to-face across a coffee table in big comfy chairs. Every 5 picks or so, cut to Bucher and Smith so they can debate the best picks so far, trades that happened, who the Knicks should draft, or whatever. Scrap the boring interviews with players and families after each selection. Instead, use that time to focus on upcoming picks. There is only 5 minutes between picks, and ESPN does not spend