THE RATASS GAZETTE

"I say we stomp him!" ( "Yeah!" ) "Then we tattoo 'im!" ( "Yeah!" ) "Then we hang 'im!" ( "Yeah!" ) "And then we kill 'im!" ( "YEAH!!!" ) RANDOM THOUGHTS ... Not only is this a classic scene from one of my all-time favorite movies, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure , but I'd say it's one of the Top 10 Funniest Movie Scenes ever, right? I had a hard time picking a favorite line from this scene, there's just too many good ones! No matter how many times I've seen this I still think it's hilarious. 

Tom Cochrane - Life is a Highway - Live on Leno 1992  RANDOM THOUGHTS ... I've always liked this song, and this is a rockin' performance of it on Leno. Way better than his appearance on Letterman , where they played a shortened version of the tune (without some of the harmonica parts and such) and things just seemed off. Here, however, things are tight and they sound fantastic. Mr. Cochrane plays the heck out of that harmonica, too. This is pretty much as good as it gets on a late-night show, he nails it. Awesome performance. ... I really like that Cochrane jogged up and sat down for a little chat after he rocked the house. It's the late-night equivalent of athletes giving interviews immediately after a game, when they're all sweaty and out of breath. Anyway, after some decent banter about Canada ("I spent a lot of time up there during, uh, Vietnam years"), Leno asks him a great question: How did you come up with the idea for this song? It's a ques...

"You think I don't know what breaks my fridge?" - Season 6, Ep 19, "The One With Joey's Fridge"  RANDOM THOUGHTS ... My general rule of thumb with Friends is this... Seasons 1-3: Gold; Seasons 4-10: Hit or miss.  "The One With Joey's Fridge"  is from Season 6 and it's not just a hit, it's a grand friggin' slam. Hilarious episode. Complete with Spanish subtitles! De nada. 

Dio - Rainbow in the Dark (Live) - 1983   Dio - Rainbow in the Dark (Live) RANDOM THOUGHTS...  Awesome live stuff from Dio. The bad-ass on lead guitar is Vivian Campbell, who later played with Whitesnake, and then Def Leppard. He rocks.

Go ahead. Ask me, my brothers, or any of my close friends, and we'll all tell you the same thing: Pee-Wee's Big Adventure is one of the funniest movies of all time. It's packed full of laughs from beginning to end. Just one gut-busting scene after another. PEE-WEE AND MICKEY - Here's a couple memorable scenes featuring Pee-Wee and Mickey. Mickey's a fugitive on the loose and Pee-Wee's hitching a ride with him. ... I'm not sure who I'm explaining that to. Clearly, everybody knows who Mickey is, right? "Yeah, I got a real bad temper."  - That's one of my favorite lines in the whole movie. Classic Mickey. Also, I love Pee-Wee's reaction when Mickey puts his hand on the wheel so he can steer while Mickey lights up a smoke. The whole damn thing is hilarious. "Why don't you take a picture, it'll last longer." - Again, this shit just cracks me up. The fact that both the cop and Mickey seem to be oddly attra...

Cobra A gun-wielding maniac has taken hostages down at the local supermarket, so the Feds have called in Marion Cobretti... That's "Cobra" to those of us unwilling to risk a punch in the face. This scene is cho ck-full of great Stallone one-liners. The bottom line is, when you're wearing badass Aviators and walk around with an unlit match stick in your mouth, there's no limit to the ass you can kick... 

"You're a fascinating man, George Costanza." - Classic stuff here from Seinfeld (Season 3, Ep 7, "The Cafe"). George tells Jerry he's been lying about his IQ for years, and now his girlfriend is making him take the test. So he cheats and has Elaine take it for him... RANDOM THOUGHTS ... The scene cracks me up! Watching George try to keep this lie going is hilarious. I like how he tries to play it off like she's the one asking stupid questions. "Where do you think I got the coffee? At the grocery store." And my favorite, "Why would I go out the door? The window's right here."

This is, bar none, the finest performance of this great rock song you'll find on the web. It's Donnie Iris performing his 1981 hit, "Ah, Leah", and it's a must-watch. Well, what are you waiting for?! Check it out!  Donnie Iris - Ah, Leah RANDOM THOUGHTS ... According to the screen shot at the end of this video, this was aired on WQED (Pittsburgh) in 2002. The band he's playing with are the house band from that local TV station, and let me tell you, these guys (and gal) kick some serious ass in this one! I mean, they knock it out of the park. Every single member of that band are spot-on, technically precise, and provide a note-perfect rendition of this song. The grinding distortion of the guitars and Donnie Iris' amazing vocal performance just sound way better than the original album version . Iris' pipes are definitely still intact, he really nails it here, it's awesome to watch. That must have been an amazing feeling to be there in the TV...

Here's a collection of ha-larious scenes from an episode of The Office (Season 5, Ep 13) called "The Stress Relief". "You were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you." - Pure gold right here. The office attempts to learn CPR, but fails badly. In fact, the lesson results in Andy singing the Bee Gees while Kelly dances. I like how the rest of the employees just look on with amusement/apathy. The scene is full of funny bits. Favorite line... Dwight: "Ok, he's dead. Anyone know what we do next?" Classic! The Roast of Michael Scott - Probably one of the best all-time Office scenes. Michael set up a Comedy Central-style Roast so employees could poke fun at him, and it's nothing short of gut-busting. I think I like Dwight's roast the best. Enjoy! "Boom, Roasted!" - Here's the end of episode. Michael got his feelings hurt at his own roast, but now he's got some comebacks of his own. "Osc...

Green Day "Walking Contradiction" and "Going to Pasalacqua"  Live on Saturday Night Special in 1996 RANDOM THOUGHTS... This is probably my favorite Green Day late-night TV performance of all time. It originally aired in 1996 on a short-lived Fox TV show called Saturday Night Special , produced by Roseanne Barr.  Special filled in for MAD TV for six weeks opposite NBC's Saturday Night Live , and Green Day appeared in the sixth and final episode.  It's pretty apparent that the people behind the scenes at the network wanted the band to play "Walking Contradiction," which was their single at the time (from the album Insomniac which was released the previous year).  It's also pretty apparent that Green Day wanted to play something else.  Let's be honest, "Walking Contradiction" is a catchy song with a fun music video , but it's a mid-tempo rocker and probably not the most exciting tune in their catalog to play.  So Green ...

"Goodbye, Toby" - Here's a nice collection of scenes from The Office Season 4 finale where Michael sings "Goodbye, Toby" (set to the tune of " Goodbye, Stranger " by Supertramp). Michael really gets into it, and it cracks me up how apathetic the crowd is... except of course, for Dwight, who rocks it out. This is right after Michael reiterates to the crowd that he's the song (parody) writer who penned "Beers in Heaven" and "Total Eclipse of the Fart". Classic! "I hate so much about the things that you choose to be." - And, just for good measure, here's a great video compilation of a bunch of funny Michael vs. Toby moments from over the years. Michael's complete and utter disdain for all things Toby is comedy gold. I especially enjoy when Michael shoves Toby's lunch tray off the table and onto the floor (1:54), even though Toby is actually being really nice to him. Such a jerk move, and yet, so funny! ...

"Must be a banker." - Hilarious scenes from an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer and Newman make up a lie in an attempt to get Newman out of a speeding ticket. (Season 4, Ep 4, "The Ticket").  Whenever you get those two together it's pure comedy gold.  I really like the bit where they're brain-storming ideas before their appearance in the court room.  Kramer suggests he was suicidal because he never had an air-conditioner. Great stuff! 

"What the hell do I care about Al Jolson?" - Hilarious scene from Seinfeld (Season 4, Ep 18, "The Old Man") where Kramer and Newman try to sell some of Jerry's old records. When told they're practically worthless, they don't like it. It cracks me up how Kramer instigates the whole calamity, saying what's on his mind but not actually saying it to the record store owner's face. He just says it to Newman, who then repeats it to the store owner. It just keeps escalating ("I find you extremely ugly") until all hell breaks loose. "A real brouhaha," as Kramer later describes it. Pure gold! (You'll have to click the link to YouTube, as embedding is disabled, but it's worth the click!) 

"Michael always sings the high harmony to Happy Birthday" - Some classic scenes from The Office (Season 4, Ep 7, "Survivor Man") in which we find out Michael Scott (Steve Carell) loves to, A) surprise his employees on their birthday, as seen here... ... and B) he always sings the high harmony to the Happy Birthday song, as seen below. Hilarious! This is definitely one of my favorite episodes, hope you enjoy the clips! 

"Look what you're doing to Chandler!" -  This classic scene is from Season 3, Ep 17, "The One Without the Ski Trip". The gang (minus Ross) plans to go skiing, but accidentally lock the keys in Phoebe's mom's cab and they all begin arguing, which causes Chandler to attempt to create a distraction. Umm... it's a long story, so just trust me when I say that this scene is hilarious!

"Don't mess with Colorado." - Remember when Steve Carell left The Office after nearly 7 full seasons and he was replaced by Will Ferrell? Well, you should, it was only last year. If you don't, you may want to see a doctor, because it really wasn't that long ago. Anyhoo, Ferrell appeared in four episodes that season and The Office has just not been the same since Carell departed. Without further ado, here is the scene where these two funnymen meet each other on the show. As you can guess, hilarity ensues. Enjoy!  

Motley Crue - Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away) - Live at the 1990 MTV Video Music Awards  One of my favorite Motley Crue songs.  This is an excellent live performance of the track, which appeared on 1989's hugely successful Dr. Feelgood .  The album went to #1 in the US and sold 6 million copies. Check it out! Motley Crue - Don't Go Away Mad (Live) RANDOM THOUGHTS ... Bassist/classic songwriter Nikki Sixx played on the Alice Cooper track "Feed My Frankenstein" in 1991. I just find that to be totally awesome. ... Tommy Lee beats the shit out of the drums, I love it. I don't know if he gets enough credit for being a great drummer, so I'm going to make it a point to constantly mention it to family and friends from now 'til death. ... All the guys in the band are rockin' long manes, with Tommy Lee winning best 'do by sporting a headband, a la John McEnroe. If people don't agree that rock n roll is much worse off without all these i...

"Then Brian comes in and I change up the tempo." - If you look up "funny ass shit" in the dictionary, this video clip is what you see.  It's the classic scene from Family Guy where Stewie tries to write a song for a girl and Brian tells him how lame he is.  "Why are you bringin' me down, man?"  Haha, hilarious! 

"You should think of my work as wordless sound poems." - Classic scenes where Ross dazzles the rest of the Friends gang with his musical "talent" on the keyboard.  This is from Season 4, Ep 7, "The One Where Chandler Crosses the Line."  Great stuff from David Schwimmer in this episode, a lot of funny facial expressions and dorky one-liners and whatnot.  Just good, clean fun.  The "Electrifying" performance in Central Perk (3:15) is my favorite example of Ross' sound .  "He's so inspired! Look at him. Look at him go!"   Hilarious, enjoy!  

TOP 5 - 'AMERICAN GLADIATORS' GAMES - We're talking about the classic, original American Gladiators here, which aired from 1989 to 1996.  I loved that show and always thought the athletic events they competed in were awesome and probably a lot of fun to do.  Who doesn't want to give Swing Shot a try, right?  So I've compiled my Top 5 list of American Gladiators games.  I consulted a master list on Wikipedia , and clicking on the event names below will show you a video of each one, courtesy of American Gladiators.com and YouTube .  The only criteria is, How awesome was the game?  Enjoy!  1.   Assault - Ever notice how the cross-bow had the touchiest trigger in the world?  I swear, most times that flimsy foam arrow would be in flight before the contestant even got a chance to aim it.  And when the arrow did fly, it never went straight.  My favorite weapon was the ball cannon; It seemed to be the only one with even a trace...