THE RATASS GAZETTE

"You're a fascinating man, George Costanza." - Classic stuff here from Seinfeld (Season 3, Ep 7, "The Cafe"). George tells Jerry he's been lying about his IQ for years, and now his girlfriend is making him take the test. So he cheats and has Elaine take it for him... RANDOM THOUGHTS ... The scene cracks me up! Watching George try to keep this lie going is hilarious. I like how he tries to play it off like she's the one asking stupid questions. "Where do you think I got the coffee? At the grocery store." And my favorite, "Why would I go out the door? The window's right here."

"You ever not buy anything in the supermarket and try to get out of there? It's impossible." - Here is some classic stand-up from the great Jerry Seinfeld. He riffs on supermarkets for a good five minutes, including some funny bits about the produce section, seedless watermelons, and milk. On fruit: "See the way that's fading left? That one's not ready." Cracks me up every time! Got to loooove the Sein.  

"Must be a banker." - Hilarious scenes from an episode of Seinfeld where Kramer and Newman make up a lie in an attempt to get Newman out of a speeding ticket. (Season 4, Ep 4, "The Ticket").  Whenever you get those two together it's pure comedy gold.  I really like the bit where they're brain-storming ideas before their appearance in the court room.  Kramer suggests he was suicidal because he never had an air-conditioner. Great stuff! 

"What the hell do I care about Al Jolson?" - Hilarious scene from Seinfeld (Season 4, Ep 18, "The Old Man") where Kramer and Newman try to sell some of Jerry's old records. When told they're practically worthless, they don't like it. It cracks me up how Kramer instigates the whole calamity, saying what's on his mind but not actually saying it to the record store owner's face. He just says it to Newman, who then repeats it to the store owner. It just keeps escalating ("I find you extremely ugly") until all hell breaks loose. "A real brouhaha," as Kramer later describes it. Pure gold! (You'll have to click the link to YouTube, as embedding is disabled, but it's worth the click!) 

"Not gonna play ball, huh?" - Classic scene where Newman plays bad cop trying to nab Jerry in a mail fraud scheme.  It cracks me up the way Jerry plays it cool, and the whole bit where Newman sweats under the lights is pure gold.  Enjoy!   "Oh, how I've longed for this day, Seinfeld." - Here is the end of that episode (Season 8, Ep 5, "The Package") where Jerry is eventually caught and punished for mail fraud, and Newman savors every moment of it.  Good stuff. 

"They're slim fit.  Streamlined." - Here are some scenes from a classic Seinfeld episode (Season 7, Ep 23, "The Wait Out") where Kramer decides to prove to Jerry that he can still fit into a pair of blue jeans.  Lots of great physical comedy in this one.  I love Jerry's facial expressions when Kramer insists he'll buy a pair of jeans.  "Don't think I won't, Jerry!"  Haha, enjoy! 

"How's life on the red planet?" - This is way up on my list of favorite Seinfeld episodes (Season 8, Ep 8, "The Chicken Roaster").  A Kenny Rogers Roasters chicken restaurant opens right across the street from Kramer, and their neon sign invades Kramer's place with eternal red light, so he and Jerry switch apartments.  A lot of laughs from the K-Man in this clip, plus we get some Newman and an appearance by Mr. Marbles.  Enjoy!

"Having said that..." - A hilarious scene from Curb Your Enthusiasm featuring Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, and Jason Alexander.  This is from Season 7 (2009).  An instant classic!

"Here's to feeling good all the time." -  Physical comedy at it's finest!  Michael Richards is a comic genius, I don't know if any other actor could have made this scene as hilarious as he did.  It's amazing how many laughs they squeeze into a minute and a half.  One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes of all time!  ("The Sniffing Accountant", Season 5, Episode 4). Kramer: "I'll have a brewskie, Charlie."  Bartender: "The name's Mitch."  Haha, enjoy! 

I love Scrubs for its randomness and not so much for it's heartwarming and dramatic moments. So that's why I get a kick out of this little nugget.

"The bus is OUTTA CONTROL !" - This classic Seinfeld scene is about as good as it gets, in my opinion: Kramer telling the story of how he saved a woman's pinky toe. It's from Season 5, Episode 18 - "The Fire". There are so many funny lines in here, I'll just let the video speak for itself!