We're over 3/4 of the way through the NFL season and the Minnesota Vikings are 2-11, one of the worst teams in the league. As the resident Vikings fan on the staff here, I feel I need to address their abysmal performance. I feel there are some important, burning questions that friends of mine are probably afraid to ask me for fear I may either A) lash out in rage, or B) break down into tears at any given moment.
If you've seen the Vikings play this year, it's pretty clear why they're so bad. Their O-Line is terrible, their rookie quarterback stinks, and their defensive secondary is awful. I'm not wondering how they got to 2-11, it makes complete sense. So me, personally, I have no questions... but still there are things that people want to know about the Vikings. You know, big picture questions. I'll try my best to answer them, and pardon my French.
On to the burning questions...
The Vikings suck. How do you feel about that?
- I just want everyone to know that even though the Vikings suck this year, I'm actually kind of okay with it. I knew going in they were likely going to be bad. They can't be great every year. To go into every season thinking the Vikings will beat everyone and that they'll win the Super Bowl is just unrealistic. The Vikings were due for a bad year, I guess. They won't be this bad every year either, it just happens this way sometimes. They'll actually get a pretty good draft pick just because they're so bad, and that's not a terrible thing.
The Vikings were awesome with Brett Favre for two straight years recently and my favorite team was the lead football story nearly every night on SportsCenter for pretty much that whole time. It was phenomenal, I enjoyed every minute of it. They had a good run, it was a lot of fun, and now I have to watch the Packers rule the world. It's just one of those years.
That's right, you hate the Packers, and now they're dominating the league. How do you feel about that?
- What can I say? The Packers are kicking some serious ass right now. No doubt about it. They can outscore anyone they play, and Aaron Rodgers looks like a fucking maestro back there. No reason for me to hate that guy, he's awesome. People compare this Packers team to the 2007 Patriots, and I can see the comparisons, their numbers are huge. I still say the Brady-to-Moss combination in 2007 was a lot more fun to watch, but then again, I'm completely biased. They're the defending Super Bowl champs, they haven't lost a game all year, their quarterback is quickly building a Hall-of-Fame resume... sometimes you just gotta tip your cap.
What are your thoughts on Christian Ponder and Joe Webb?
- I've come up with some nicknames for these two assclowns. Christian Blunder. Christian "The Unwatchable" Ponder. Christian Ponder: The Human Turnover Machine. They're not the funniest or most creative nicknames, but you can't say they're inaccurate. Have you seen these guys play? They're awful. Did anyone else see the first half of the Vikings Week 14 game against the Lions? Ponder, playing through a nagging hip injury, threw 3 picks and fumbled twice (lost one). One of his INT's was returned for a TD, and the fumble he lost was in his own end zone, resulting in another TD for the Lion's D. Four turnovers and a couple of sacks in the first half. Thanks for playing, kid.
Some of the INT's that Ponder threw in that Detroit game were goddamn embarrassing. I mean, he was throwing it right to the defense. Jesus Christ, I had to change the channel. Seriously! If you enjoy watching terrible offense and dumb ass decision making, you'll love the football stylings of Christian Ponder. For everyone that says to throw these rookie QB's into action, whether or not they're ready, this is what you get: An unwatchable football team.
Joe Webb? More like Joke Webb. I'm tired of hearing about this guy. He has a 42-inch vert and runs a 4.4 40... actually, the Vikings could probably use him at wide receiver. He was a wide receiver early in his college career, and "Brainiac" Brad Childress drafted him thinking he could play the toughest position (QB) in all of sports. Childress is the same guy who TRADED UP to draft Tarvaris Jackson in the 2nd-round of the 2006 draft. Fucking Childress... I hate that guy.
Here's a situation: The Vikings need a touchdown to win the game, there's 0:09 on the clock in the 4th quarter, and they have the ball on the opponent's 1-yard line... Joe Webb is their quarterback. Everything sounded good up until that last part, right? Yup, you can pretty much figure out what happened next. Obviously, they didn't score. Instead, Webb decided to pump fake a throw to the corner of the end zone (he should have just thrown it, if it doesn't work they still have some clock) then tried to tuck it and run and ended up fumbling the ball, which was kicked around and carried and ended up 50 yards behind the original line of scrimmage. That pretty much sums up the Vikings offense with Joe Webb at the helm... Bumbling and going backwards.
Should the Vikings spend a top 10 draft pick on another quarterback?
- If the Vikings continue their season-long trend of blowing donkeys, they'll likely end up with a top 10 pick in the 2012 NFL Draft. According to CBS Sports.com, there are possibly 3 college quarterbacks worthy of being taken in the Top 10 (they're all underclassmen): Andrew Luck of Stanford, Matt Barkley of USC, and Heisman winner Robert Griffin of Baylor. In my opinion, they are ALL better than Christian Ponder and the Vikings should not hesitate to draft one of them should the opportunity present itself. I've seen all three play on TV and I think they look better. If I had a choice, I think they should take Barkley , I think he's really good. Luck will likely be off the board before the Vikings pick (he's expected to go #1 overall), so it would be either Barkley or Griffin. I'd take either one of those guys right now. Having Christian Ponder on the roster should not prevent the team from drafting another quarterback.
Do you have anything good to say about your Vikings?
- Actually, yeah. As predicted here before the season, the defensive line has been excellent. I'll put Jared Allen, Kevin Williams, and Brian Robison up against anybody in the league. Allen has 17.5 sacks through12 13 games and has a chance to break the single-season record of 22.5, set by Michael Strahan (and Brett Favre) in 2001. He's been unblockable at times. I'm rooting hard for him to break the record, he's had a great year.
Obviously, Adrian Peterson is amazing. When he got injured an already below average offense got worse. Peterson is having a great season (led the league in rushing after Week 8), has a new face mask, and hopefully he returns soon.
Percy Harvin has been spectacular this year. He's faster than everyone else on the field and made some "wow" plays against the Lions. He doesn't get a lot of recognition for his receiving skills, but if the Vikings land an elite QB, Harvin might put up some huge numbers.
(Photos courtesy of Vikings.com)
If you've seen the Vikings play this year, it's pretty clear why they're so bad. Their O-Line is terrible, their rookie quarterback stinks, and their defensive secondary is awful. I'm not wondering how they got to 2-11, it makes complete sense. So me, personally, I have no questions... but still there are things that people want to know about the Vikings. You know, big picture questions. I'll try my best to answer them, and pardon my French.
On to the burning questions...
The Vikings suck. How do you feel about that?
- I just want everyone to know that even though the Vikings suck this year, I'm actually kind of okay with it. I knew going in they were likely going to be bad. They can't be great every year. To go into every season thinking the Vikings will beat everyone and that they'll win the Super Bowl is just unrealistic. The Vikings were due for a bad year, I guess. They won't be this bad every year either, it just happens this way sometimes. They'll actually get a pretty good draft pick just because they're so bad, and that's not a terrible thing.
The Vikings were awesome with Brett Favre for two straight years recently and my favorite team was the lead football story nearly every night on SportsCenter for pretty much that whole time. It was phenomenal, I enjoyed every minute of it. They had a good run, it was a lot of fun, and now I have to watch the Packers rule the world. It's just one of those years.
That's right, you hate the Packers, and now they're dominating the league. How do you feel about that?
- What can I say? The Packers are kicking some serious ass right now. No doubt about it. They can outscore anyone they play, and Aaron Rodgers looks like a fucking maestro back there. No reason for me to hate that guy, he's awesome. People compare this Packers team to the 2007 Patriots, and I can see the comparisons, their numbers are huge. I still say the Brady-to-Moss combination in 2007 was a lot more fun to watch, but then again, I'm completely biased. They're the defending Super Bowl champs, they haven't lost a game all year, their quarterback is quickly building a Hall-of-Fame resume... sometimes you just gotta tip your cap.
What are your thoughts on Christian Ponder and Joe Webb?
- I've come up with some nicknames for these two assclowns. Christian Blunder. Christian "The Unwatchable" Ponder. Christian Ponder: The Human Turnover Machine. They're not the funniest or most creative nicknames, but you can't say they're inaccurate. Have you seen these guys play? They're awful. Did anyone else see the first half of the Vikings Week 14 game against the Lions? Ponder, playing through a nagging hip injury, threw 3 picks and fumbled twice (lost one). One of his INT's was returned for a TD, and the fumble he lost was in his own end zone, resulting in another TD for the Lion's D. Four turnovers and a couple of sacks in the first half. Thanks for playing, kid.
Some of the INT's that Ponder threw in that Detroit game were goddamn embarrassing. I mean, he was throwing it right to the defense. Jesus Christ, I had to change the channel. Seriously! If you enjoy watching terrible offense and dumb ass decision making, you'll love the football stylings of Christian Ponder. For everyone that says to throw these rookie QB's into action, whether or not they're ready, this is what you get: An unwatchable football team.
Joe Webb? More like Joke Webb. I'm tired of hearing about this guy. He has a 42-inch vert and runs a 4.4 40... actually, the Vikings could probably use him at wide receiver. He was a wide receiver early in his college career, and "Brainiac" Brad Childress drafted him thinking he could play the toughest position (QB) in all of sports. Childress is the same guy who TRADED UP to draft Tarvaris Jackson in the 2nd-round of the 2006 draft. Fucking Childress... I hate that guy.
Here's a situation: The Vikings need a touchdown to win the game, there's 0:09 on the clock in the 4th quarter, and they have the ball on the opponent's 1-yard line... Joe Webb is their quarterback. Everything sounded good up until that last part, right? Yup, you can pretty much figure out what happened next. Obviously, they didn't score. Instead, Webb decided to pump fake a throw to the corner of the end zone (he should have just thrown it, if it doesn't work they still have some clock) then tried to tuck it and run and ended up fumbling the ball, which was kicked around and carried and ended up 50 yards behind the original line of scrimmage. That pretty much sums up the Vikings offense with Joe Webb at the helm... Bumbling and going backwards.
Should the Vikings spend a top 10 draft pick on another quarterback?
- If the Vikings continue their season-long trend of blowing donkeys, they'll likely end up with a top 10 pick in the 2012 NFL Draft. According to CBS Sports.com, there are possibly 3 college quarterbacks worthy of being taken in the Top 10 (they're all underclassmen): Andrew Luck of Stanford, Matt Barkley of USC, and Heisman winner Robert Griffin of Baylor. In my opinion, they are ALL better than Christian Ponder and the Vikings should not hesitate to draft one of them should the opportunity present itself. I've seen all three play on TV and I think they look better. If I had a choice, I think they should take Barkley , I think he's really good. Luck will likely be off the board before the Vikings pick (he's expected to go #1 overall), so it would be either Barkley or Griffin. I'd take either one of those guys right now. Having Christian Ponder on the roster should not prevent the team from drafting another quarterback.
Do you have anything good to say about your Vikings?
- Actually, yeah. As predicted here before the season, the defensive line has been excellent. I'll put Jared Allen, Kevin Williams, and Brian Robison up against anybody in the league. Allen has 17.5 sacks through
Obviously, Adrian Peterson is amazing. When he got injured an already below average offense got worse. Peterson is having a great season (led the league in rushing after Week 8), has a new face mask, and hopefully he returns soon.
Percy Harvin has been spectacular this year. He's faster than everyone else on the field and made some "wow" plays against the Lions. He doesn't get a lot of recognition for his receiving skills, but if the Vikings land an elite QB, Harvin might put up some huge numbers.
(Photos courtesy of Vikings.com)
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