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Useless Book Reviews

Has a bad review ever deterred you from reading a book you had previously wanted to read?  Let's find out!  In this case, the book reviews are not only worthless, they're downright insulting.  If you listen to our advice, you're clearly dumber than we thought.  But hey... do whatever you want, idiot. 

Michael Connelly, The Brass Verdict (2008)
- It's Michael Connelly.  That pretty much sums it up.  If you don't know exactly what I mean when I say that, you've probably got shit for brains.




Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol (2009)
- It's like Angels & Demons (2000) except a whole lot worse.  It's good if you like shitty stories.  It's a smart book if you're stupid.  If you like easy puzzles and obvious endings, you'd like this book.  Is that clear enough for you, pinhead?  

Dean Koontz, Winter Moon (1994) 
- Don't read it.  Why?  Because I said so, that's why.  Why do you always have to read everything I read?  Why can't you find your own books?  Stop trying to copy me, loser!    

Robert Ludlum, The Bancroft Strategy (2006)
- Man, don't you ever stop with the questions?  I just started this one.  I'm on page thirty-eight.  I'll let you know when I'm finished with it, alright?  Get off my goddamn back about the book! 

James Patterson, Roses Are Red (2000)
- I haven't read it, and guess what?  I'm probably never going to read it.  How do you like that, huh?  If you want to know if it's any good, read the fucking book yourself, okay?  What, do you think I just sit around all day and read books?  Leave me alone already!

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