Feel free to use this bit at your next social gathering if someone mentions... Cheerleaders.
“What’s up with cheerleaders, and why are they always telling their team to 'Go'? Even when they’re on Defense. 'Go Defense!'
Where the hell do they want the Defense to go? They don’t even have the ball! What if they 'Go' backwards? They really should be more specific!"
"If anything, it should be 'Stop The Offense!' Mock cheerleader voice: "Halt! Stifle! Impede! I-M-P! E-D-E! Immmm-PEDE!"
"You know what I’m saying?”
"Cheerleaders, I tell ya."
“What’s up with cheerleaders, and why are they always telling their team to 'Go'? Even when they’re on Defense. 'Go Defense!'
Where the hell do they want the Defense to go? They don’t even have the ball! What if they 'Go' backwards? They really should be more specific!"
(Pause for laughter)
"If anything, it should be 'Stop The Offense!' Mock cheerleader voice: "Halt! Stifle! Impede! I-M-P! E-D-E! Immmm-PEDE!"
(Pause for crazy applause. If there is still no applause, add in a high-leg kick for emphasis. You know, explore the space. If you still hear crickets, feigning a pulled muscle on the leg-kick can sometimes get you some cheap laughs. Take anything you can get, because at this point, aside from some eye-bugging and forehead-wiping... the bit is pretty much over.)
"You know what I’m saying?”
(Tug on your collar and take a sip of your drink)
"Cheerleaders, I tell ya."
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