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Top 12: Reasons For Missing Work (Wisconsin Edition)

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  1) Woke Up In A Corn-Bin
  2) Wiener Caught In Elevator Door
  3) Michael J. Fox Car-Hood Slide Into Side Of Building
  4) Trapped In Washing Machine
  5) Fainted Backwards At Top Of Staircase
  6) Lung Crystallization/Perforated Septum 
  7) Lightbulb Fused To Scrotum
  8) Flipped Lawnmower
  9) Pinned Between Toilet And Wall
10) Had Seizure When Using Microwave
11) Depressed After Waving To Crossing Guard
12) Was Second Day Of Job 
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