THE RATASS GAZETTE

- Alice Cooper drinks a tall glass of    ice-water  then shouts, "Let's Rock!"    into a mirror  before hitting the stage. - Klaus Meine was the tallest kid in his class. - Neil Young played harmonica on    Venom's "Black Metal." - Michael Anthony often substitutes    his  live concert "Bass Solo"    with a "High-Alto Solo." - Vinnie Paul's drum stool has a built in    drainage pipe, with replaceable    1-time-use seat covers and a    Barbecue Sauce  Stick-Dippin' Drum. - Oderous Urungus builds model    Space-Ships on cocaine, as a hobby. - Blackie Lawless prepared a    Pineapple  Upside-Down Cake on    Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood one time. - Paul Stanley's original, vocal intro to    KISS's "Heaven's On Fire" was    190 seconds  l ong.  - Matt Sorum titled his auto-biography    "Snare-To...

A Stranger was lurking The Ice-Fall terrorized the emptiness A Prophet of the Nether-World Warned me of the Devil's Manifestations... The Somber Throne A momentary betrayal, Peddled by Creatures Began with an image of The Silver Lake A Venomous courtyard of predawn inhabitants Protected by Lightning An irrepressible fury dwells like a Demon Shivering and Calculating, The recollection disturbs me I serenade the Undead Invincible and Unpleasant, Death is my substitute for Drugs My departure... I lowered my armor and Disaster trickled I am humbled, melting in protest, Unexpectedly Induced Stretched-Black-Leather forms to my skin An Oracle of superficial sin A Frantic Predator, Emotionally Alien , Sophisticated and Glimmering Eyebrows arch as the vegetation withers despairingly A fantastic exaggeration Black Veil, Red Stain She pursed her lips and came again I discreetly found her slit Her buttocks cleft by cord My fingers massage her narrow passage I delic...

It's been a long, delicious journey for Candy-Boy Kyle He gobbles up candy, a lover of any style He'll dippity-dop his Lollipop He'll slappity-slip his Taffy Strip He has hockety-phlegm from his M&M's "You're gay!" they say As he deep-throats a Milky Way He'll dance down the lane With a hand on his Candy-Cane A gentle breeze from his fart Smells like a Sweet Tart The second skid-mark this month, he notes on his chart Candy-Boy Kyle will play for a while Blowing into a Strawberry Whistle It's quite a sight, when he sits for the night Pooping a Candy Missile He loves to suck Sour Balls And check all the bathroom stalls Searching for a leftover Caramel Cube He'll eat what he can find If it's on the floor, he doesn't mind He won't hesitate to swallow it down his tube His teeth are turning green From the Gummi Bears in between The meals he eats with sugar He skips to the store, to fill his belly up with more ...