THE RATASS GAZETTE

"You ever not buy anything in the supermarket and try to get out of there? It's impossible." - Here is some classic stand-up from the great Jerry Seinfeld. He riffs on supermarkets for a good five minutes, including some funny bits about the produce section, seedless watermelons, and milk. On fruit: "See the way that's fading left? That one's not ready." Cracks me up every time! Got to loooove the Sein.  

Here's a collection of ha-larious scenes from an episode of The Office (Season 5, Ep 13) called "The Stress Relief". "You were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you." - Pure gold right here. The office attempts to learn CPR, but fails badly. In fact, the lesson results in Andy singing the Bee Gees while Kelly dances. I like how the rest of the employees just look on with amusement/apathy. The scene is full of funny bits. Favorite line... Dwight: "Ok, he's dead. Anyone know what we do next?" Classic! The Roast of Michael Scott - Probably one of the best all-time Office scenes. Michael set up a Comedy Central-style Roast so employees could poke fun at him, and it's nothing short of gut-busting. I think I like Dwight's roast the best. Enjoy! "Boom, Roasted!" - Here's the end of episode. Michael got his feelings hurt at his own roast, but now he's got some comebacks of his own. "Osc...